Ramblings of a Young Aussie Writer

A writer lost in her own imagination

Nanowrimo Distractions — November 6, 2014

Nanowrimo Distractions

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Its the 6th day of NaNoWriMo and I’m ‘almost’ on track with my word count. It’s my first time doing NaNoWriMo and I’m loving it. The strict time constraint really gives you the push to write, REALLY write until your story is told. Honestly I was very naive going into this and didn’t realise how crazy it would be staying on track. Over 1600 words per day didn’t seem too bad until I started to work out that one or two days missed writing meant I had to write at least 3200+ words the next day to keep up which felt like an insurmountable goal for just one busy day. It’s been awhile since I’ve been at school and I had forgotten the repercussions of not doing your ‘homework.’ Difficult as it may be, I’m enjoying using it as a great excuse to actually sit down and write. I’ve been taking it very seriously and I won’t allow the thought that I won’t finish, cross my mind.

Unfortunately though I’m a professional procrastinator and little things easily distract me, like for example – blogging and tweeting. Then there’s the bad habit of facebooking for 20mins+ every day without fail…. The worst part about NaNoWriMo is I don’t have the time to read 😦 I’m sure it’ll be worth the sacrifice in the end.

Procrastinating

What is the worst distraction from writing especially when trying to compete in NaNoWriMo?

Happy writing everyone!

Maybe I Was Wrong — October 9, 2014

Maybe I Was Wrong

I hard an overwhelming urge to write so here’s a paragraph of writing. My emotions take over and I’m compelled to write them out. This is a darker side of my writing but hopefully you enjoy it.

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The photo stares at me haunting my thoughts, leading them to places I don’t want to go anymore. The tears have run dry and even as my throat chokes up I know there will be no more tears, I promised myself. I miss you like hell but I’m not going let that consume me. Hating you is unnatural, it tears my soul apart. I like to live in my fantasy world where we’re still so close, where you don’t hate me and where my heart doesn’t ache all the time. I’m sorry, I was wrong. They’re the words you want me to say to you to fix things but it will never go back to the way it was. One stupid fight and now there’s a gaping tear that’s ripped us apart. If or maybe when that tear heals over there will always be that scar that will never fade enough for us to forget. I’ve never been good at being stubborn, it’s not in my nature but this time is different. It goes against every fibre in my body but I’m not surrendering this time, not yet. The ball is in your court but your stubbornness is controlling you. You’re older so why aren’t you wiser? If nothing is stronger than the love a parent has for their child then why the hell hasn’t that taken over yet? What happened to the days when you were humble enough to admit your wrongs? I expected better, I expected so much more. You were my hero, we’ve always been close but it’s scary how a single fight has broken our seemingly unbreakable bond. When did your pride take over your love for your family? When did you turn into everything that you’ve always hated? How could all of the noble morals you taught me just slip away? All eyes are on me to apologise, I’m the one in the wrong, right? And you’re pitied by everyone because of how wonderful you used to be. I’ll take my share of the responsibility but you know I had every right to lose it with you. You should’ve known I could only take so much yet you kept pushing. Although it’s like acid eating away at me I will stand my ground, for once.

Maybe I was wrong. No, this time YOU were wrong!

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Looking In The Mirror – My Imperfections Are Showing — October 4, 2014

Looking In The Mirror – My Imperfections Are Showing

If I look in the mirror for long enough I will always find some flaw, some terrible imperfection that still isn’t hidden by my carefully applied make-up. I thought I’d covered them all up but there they are, tainting my reflection that seemed acceptable only a few moments ago. I feel like the imperfections in my personality, my soul are somehow showing on the outside for all to see. I don’t know what I want to look at when I stand in front of the mirror, maybe some strange illusion of perfection – whatever that is.

Just when my demons threaten to consume me my husband wraps his arms around my waist, lightly kisses me on the cheek and smiles as he tells me ‘You look beautiful.” And just like that, he has silenced my demons. He is my strength. He is the one thing that will forever remind me that I am beautiful to him and that’s really all that matters.

Love is never to be underestimated. It has the power to show us beauty in places we thought there was none. It gives us the strength to battle our demons and reminds us we will always have someone on our ‘team.’

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I pray that everyone finds their soulmate and feel the love that it brings.

Thank you John for showing me how glorious love can be.

Teardrop by Lauren Kate 3.5 Star Review — October 1, 2014

Teardrop by Lauren Kate 3.5 Star Review

Teardrop 

by Lauren Kate

Teardrop Lauren Kate

Lauren Kate is most probably my favourite author so before I had even started this book, I had very high expectations.

Teardrop is certainly not one of my favourite books but I still liked it. The ideas were unique and her writing is for the most part, of a high standard. The characters were well developed and you were roped in to the story quickly.

The Good: The cover – OF COURSE! It was just beautiful in true Lauren Kate style. The strength of Eureka as a person although one could sometimes confuse her strength with a lack of emotion altogether. Brooks was a lovable character who you got very attached to. Ander was also a great character although quite confusing and sometimes his actions were downright strange. The kind of strange where most people would have kept their distance from him. The story was very engaging and made me tear up in a few spots were I felt very empathic toward the emotionally crippling situation Eureka was in.

The Bad: Firstly I hated how confusing it was in so many parts. It left me feeling stupid after having to read a few pages twice just to get my head around it. Some sentences were disjointed and didn’t make sense but that lessened as the book went on. I don’t think the whole idea of the book was explained very well at all. There were many things that just didn’t make sense and the reader was never given an explanation for. I finished the book still trying to understand the concept and the reasoning behind the character’s actions. Eureka’s dad was a feeble, under-developed character that almost didn’t really fit into the story. Ander was the kind of guy that I don’t think anyone would continue to spend time with after the first encounter. Eureka’s personality was often malleable which got annoying sometimes. I did like Brooks, he was vivacious and fun. In a real life situation he and Eureka would undoubtedly be boyfriend and girlfriend. I felt like I was really left in the dark regarding anything about Ander despite the book being so long. It did drag on a bit and the ending came on suddenly, leaving the reading wondering if their version on the book was missing chapters. There was one scene that was much too descriptively violent for what it needed to be.

OVERALL: This book only rated 3.5 stars for me because although I really enjoyed the basic storyline the bad points were numerous.

Will I be reading Waterfall when it comes out? Yes because I’m curious to see if that book is better that the first. There is real potential there so let’s just hope she’s ‘upped her game.

Australia – The lonely island where dreams have limits — September 29, 2014

Australia – The lonely island where dreams have limits

australia-map

This blog isn’t just about me loving and being proud of my country but also of the struggles Australian Artist/Writers face by living here.

Australia – The lonely island with beautiful landscapes that harbour all kinds of deadly creatures. It’s the ‘land of the free’ where pretty much everyone is descended from criminals. Our home is usually summed up as ‘beautiful but deadly’ and I love that.

Welcome to Australia

I’ve travelled to a few place over the globe (nowhere near as many as I would like to) but Australia truly is unique. I’m a born and bred Aussie and love my home land. I lived in Japan for a few months and loved the experience but upon arrival home I realised I missed it much more than I had thought. It’s not just because my life and family are here either. We can boast some of the most beautiful beaches while adding in the multiple animals that want to kill you all in the same sentence. The centre of this land is filled with a landscape that will kill you in a matter of days and you’ll be lost forever. Stray of the lonely road and death isn’t a chance but a reality. There’s no shade for miles, water is a distant memory and if you happen to come across any animal (cattle, dingoes, eagles, camels) they’ll probably kill you before you can kill them so food is a forgotten luxury as well. Moral of the story – maybe just stick to the bigger highways with lots of traffic. I love my country but there are some big disadvantages especially in industry I want to break into.

Artists including writers have learnt sine they were a child that gaining success, even fame in this country for their talents usually means that that’s where it will end. We all know that it’s near impossible to take our talents to the next level and become known worldwide. The most recent perfect example of this is Iggy Azalea. Amethyst Amelia Kelly was a country town Aussie girl who knew all too well that to be someone in this world you had to go to ‘the land of the famous,’ on the other side of the globe.

Unfortunately Iggy Azalea seems to have disassociated herself from her birth country as well as gaining a very natural American accent in a very short amount of time. We all have a reasons for the decisions we make but I can’t help but think that her reasoning may have stemmed from the belief that being known as a foreigner might hamper her chances to be ‘big.’

As a writer who has manuscripts that I dream will be loved worldwide, I know that the chances of that whilst living in Australia and committing to Aus publishers are probably very slim.

There’s so much talent in this beautiful harsh country that hopefully, one day the world will look to us for the latest crazes, music, books, movies and much more. There is endless inspiration here and I hope the world sees that sooner rather than later. So why not check out Aus origanted works of art such as music, books, movies, etc, I promise you won’t be disappointed 🙂

I’d love to know what everyone thinks of when they think of Australia?

map of aus puddle

Authors and Writers – Why do you want to be Famous or Well Known? — September 8, 2014

Authors and Writers – Why do you want to be Famous or Well Known?

The thought of becoming a ‘famous’ writer always hangs at the back of my mind but what drives me to that? Why do I so desperately want to be famous for doing what I love?

Fame quote1

It got me thinking about the reason other writers/authors (or anyone) want to become famous. I guess fame in the writing word can be interpreted in many different ways. My idea of fame is having thousands of people own a copy of atleast one of my books.

We all have different reasoning to push our work and make a name for ourselves. This is my reasoning –

I want people to love my work. I want the reader to look forward to my next book, to go on the emotional roller coaster that my characters go on. I want my books lingering on the shelves of many, many bookshops all over the world, pages dog-eared from frequent use. I want my words to have a profound effect on people, to shape them in the best kind of way.

Many books I’ve read have opened my mind to different ideas and points of view. That’s exactly what I want my books to do. I’ve included some difficult issues in some of my writing and I would love for an impressionable person to read that and learn from the character’s mistakes rather than making them themselves.

I would love to create a book that ropes the reader into the story so much so that they find themselves tearing up at certain parts (and not because the book is THAT bad haha). That is when I will feel as though my work is not that bad after all. For a reader to get so emotionally involved in a story that they’re upset enough to cry when appropriate tells me that I have written that book/story to an acceptable level. I’m not one to be conceited about my work but that is how I measure the level of success of my writing. Of course then you have to convince thousands of people that your work is worth their time. That’s a huge feat which is why I appreciate small milestones.

Why do you or did you want to become famous for doing what you love?

Fame quote3

Should Writer’s Blogs only be about writing, reading and books? — August 29, 2014

Should Writer’s Blogs only be about writing, reading and books?

Should Writer’s blogs only be about writing, reading and books?

The short answer – No, I don’t think so.

Inspiration Imagination quote

I am following a few author’s/writer’s blogs and am surprised that I never see any posts about anything that doesn’t directly relate to reading, writing or books and I don’t know why. If you’re a writer then why not share where you get inspiration from? My life experiences may just inspire someone else so why should I not share that with others? Books can be very inspiring but they are the result of the compilation of another writer’s inspiration. 

Every day little things in my life provoke a whole whirlwind of thoughts and ideas. These ideas invoke feelings that makes me think of character traits that would suit certain characters I’m writing or intend to write about. 

Hopefully some of my strange musings might invoke a train of thought that will inspire my readers in some way. So, for now I shall end with a few inspirational quotes from those smarter than I.

Pat Brisson Quote

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To Love Is To Fear — August 21, 2014

To Love Is To Fear

To love is to fear

The thought came to me recently when I heard about a friend’s husband who had passed away. Love is what drives away all our other fears but it does however (and deny it as much as you like) create a new kind of fear – a fear of live without such love.

Taken away fear

There are two types of fear that come with loving something so incredibly much. Of course there is the selfish love – I don’t want to live without them; and then there’s the – I never want anything bad to happen to them. 

The selfish side of fear seems like a negative but feeling such a strong connection to someone (even something – like a pet) is a blessing and I believe it changes the way we see the world. Like a flower growing between the cracks in the pavement, it reminds us that there are beauties such as love in an otherwise cruel world. These ones that we love bring us a happiness that we never want to be without. Our own personal sun that brightens each and every day. Maybe it’s selfish to never want them out of our lives but a love connection like that is one that will forever change us for the better.

The second is the fear that we can’t bear to think of the one we love so completely, having to ever be in pain, a pain that you can’t take away. To know or see them hurt is like a poison slowly killing you from the inside out. You know that you would do whatever it took to take that pain away. That is fear. 

In the end though I would rather have fear than live without love. 

Suicide – Why Is It Still So Common? — August 12, 2014

Suicide – Why Is It Still So Common?

depression

Following the very recent death of the world’s most beloved comedian Robin Williams, who is suspected to have taken his own life it got me thinking about suicide in general.

How come in an age where it is so very easy to reach out to someone for help, do we still have way too many people taking their own lives?

Depression seems to be getting more common every day which is a scary statistic. We have an endless amount of medication to help those with said problem yet we still have too many people killing themselves. I don’t think there is one answer for why these problems are on the rise but I do know that social media definitely needs to take a large majority of the blame. Scroll down your facebook, twitter, instagram pages and you will find atleast one hateful comment. I don’t understand why people have to make nasty comments especially when it doesn’t concern them. I was taught, like many, that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. It seems that that important lesson needs to be taught to everyone or atleast people need to be reminded of it. What do you achieve by saying something nasty? Those nasty little comments will stay with someone forever even after that person has forgotten that they said/written it. 

I don’t like to advertise it but I had depression when I was younger but now that I’m older it’s not the case any more. That doesn’t mean I won’t forget the hateful things people have said to me throughout my life. We can forgive but never forget. One of my “friends” in high school called me fat and to this day I can still tell you every single detail about that situation. From the time of day, the other girl’s reaction to it, the exact location and especially the tears I cried in the bathroom afterwards. I’m “friends” with that girl on facebook now and everytime I see something of hers pop up on my newsfeed I feel like telling her how much that comment hurt me and still hurts me. I want to tell those words will never leave me and when I feel down they work their way into my brain reminding me of the pain. This situation is, in my opinion, the perfect example of why suicide and depression is so common now.

Just the other day my husband was so excited about a car project he was creating that he uploaded the photos to a facebook community where he thought there were people who would appreciate his ideas. A few hours later he joined me in bed looking all forlorn. The young boy in his is devastated as though these people have ‘kicked over his sand castle instead of admiring it.’ Majority of the comments on his post were nasty, cruel and ridiculed everything about it. He ended up deleting the post but the damage was done. He was crushed and the project he was so very proud of didn’t seem as great any more. I’ve learnt to be smart in life because I was tired of the nastiness of so many people. I reminded him of my mantra – Head down tail up; don’t tell them show them. I told my husband to use it as incentive, as I have done with my writing. You must turn the negatives into positives, rise above the hurt and let it be the fuel to fire you toward your goals.

If I could tell all those with depression one message it would be that there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Life may seem impossible and the darkness may threaten to take away all that makes you happy but there will come a day where you will break through. Life always changes and one day you will look back and wish you could’ve known how wonderful the future will be.

It was only a few months into my relationship with my husband that I knew he was my light. I could handle the bad days without medication. He’s always been there to hold may hand on those days or let me have those moody moments but I know with him there, the darkness won’t last long. I wish I could tell my teenage self that my future holds beauties that are worth all the darkness. 

Depression is the warning sign that this person may need to be handled a little more gently, need a little extra love and a few compliments might go a long way. If you see someone in the street and like their hair/outfit/smile/even jewellery then say so. You never know how much that might change their lives.  

Writing The Taboo Subjects — July 24, 2014

Writing The Taboo Subjects

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I’ve had many ideas come to me for my next book where the protagonist is a young female (cliche I know). Not all of these ideas are “PG” rated. It left me wondering about the writing of taboo subjects. Is there a line? Will my book be shunned if I include these subjects? How much of a risk is it adding these subjects in? Will I be significantly limiting my readership because of this?

I’ve decided that the areas in the book that I add in these subject which I feel strongly about, will be written twice – both with and without those subjects included. Cowardly? Probably but that’s my solution.

So for curiosity’s sake my subjects that are so taboo? Well no it’s nothing to do with homosexuality (although I have considered adding it in briefly to one of my manuscripts eventually); Sex isn’t much of a taboo subject any more in our society which is a little disheartening; What’s left? First subject – Eating disorders. I went to an all girls college my whole life and if you didn’t know of or were a girl with an eating disorder then you must’ve had your eyes closed. There wasn’t much bullying in my grade but without a way to get to know any males you only had the odd social event where your looks were what got you attention or didn’t. It was so important to what seemed like everything in your life at school that you had a boyfriend yet now looking back it shouldn’t have even mattered.

High school is the perfect environment to breed insecurities in adolescents that are so susceptible to any kind of criticism. Young teenagers that are always desperate to be the perfect female that media has depicted for that point in time.

Unless you’e been there then you won’t understand the mind-set that comes with an eating disorder. I guess that is a lot of the motivation for me to add this in. I want young teens to read my book and maybe find that their outlook on food isn’t healthy. I would love to help just one teenager with my books. One teenager that may be heading down a toxic path that has found the strength by reading my words to break free of that terrible cycle.

Subject number two – drink spiking leading to date rape. I don’t want my protagonist to get raped but to be in a dangerous situation although she will of course be lucky enough to get away/be saved. I want to raise awareness to the dangers of under-age drinking, the importance of always watching your drink and the consequences that can follow from trusting ANYONE with your drink.

The things are very real in today’s society and yet we brush it aside. Ignorance ISN’T bliss!

Fingers crossed my work can get published without having to tear the parts that include the subjects I feel passionate about. Granted I should stick by my work but there sometimes comes a time when we need to concede defeat and move on.

Are my subjects too much for our current society or is it time we included the harsh realities into our writing?

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