Daily Archives: February 26, 2014

A love Shakespeare could only dream of – Dedicated to my husband <3

This is just some of my raw thoughts, I’m baring my naked soul in this writing. I apologise for any mistakes but this was written straight from the heart and I didn’t want to edit it. It is what it is.

This is dedicated to my amazing husband John Bull –

He held out his strong arms offering me the sanctity of his embrace. I more than happily obliged, being safe in his arms was what I sorely needed. I loved him more than anything I had ever known and the beating of his heart against my own pulled together to beat in sync. I was safe, I was loved and as long I was in his arms I always would be. Fleeting fears splattered through my head and I pressed against him trying to push them out. It was so hard to stop myself from letting these fears manifest into the sickening ideas they were. The ‘what if’s’ started to flood my mind and fear crawled into my previously calm heart. It was as though ice had slowly slide down my neck making my hair stand on end as it did. I felt sick, my stomach churned. I hated these thoughts, they plague me when I least expected it.

What would I do without him? What if he wasn’t there? What if something happened to him? My brain created an array of sickening scenes and theories that catch my breath in my chest. A million nightmares would be better than this. I can’t live without him. I know it, I know it more than anything. He is my life force, the one thing that tethers me to real life, the one thing that keeps me sane. Without him I’d fall apart, crumbling to pieces littering the ground, broken.

You make the stars shine, the sun flood me with it’s warmth and the calmness of night fall upon me. You are my world. I know you love me for everything that I am and I will never understand why but I’m so glad you do. Life before you seems like a lonely world of black and white compared to my life filled with a kaleidoscope of colours now. Together we are perfect, two souls that fit exactly together. You’ve made me understand and feel that complete, all consuming love, the love I’ve read about my whole life. I stumble but you won’t let me fall, you’re always there. There’s no coming back from this love, our love. I don’t know how to live without it and I doubt I could. When you die I want to be right there with you.

As if you sensed my fears enclosing around the happiness in my mind you squeezed me tighter, the feel of you pushed those fears back into the depths where they belong. Your lips grazed my forehead as you gave me a gentle kiss, saying more than words ever could. I am yours and you will always protect me, always. I’m not scared of death, I’m scared of life without you.

Loving you is more natural than breathing and with every beat of my heart I love you more. Forever is not long enough.

Where ever you are, that is my heaven

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Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Love, Uncategorized, Writing


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Review of Black: The Human Soul by Damon Rambo

Before I start I must say that I considered not writing this review and honestly I’m still not sure if I should but I need to empty my head of these thoughts plus I’m only one person and my opinion shouldn’t stop you from reading this book if you want to. My guilty conscience will plague after writing this but honesty is the best policy….. right??? So here goes and I’ll try and be as nice as I can.

I won this book on Goodreads – yay. I always try and read any books that I’m given and rate them. Unfortunately the copy of the book I received had no title on the cover and looked nothing like the cover shown on Goodreads. My copy only has a few words about the human soul and the author’s name. The plain black has a texture that as soon as I or anything else touches it, it leaves prints all over it. I figured that maybe because I got this book for free I wasn’t entitled to a proper copy. Unfortunately there is nowhere on the outside of the book that shows the title but I wasn’t deterred and started to read it. 

I’m going to start of with the positives of this book –

There were parts of this book which were very well written and it really roped me in. I love the little dog – Sparky. I was pulled in to keep reading this book in places. The book only consists of about 160 pages of reading which is good because it won’t take long to read so you can have your own opinion of it.

****Warning there are spoilers if you read ahead****

I’ve tried but I honestly can’t find anymore positives…. I feel like such a nasty person being so critical of someone’s hard work but I got quite irritated and angry after reading this book. So here are the things that got to me –

The dedication runs down his own work so before you start you’re questioning the quality of this work. to quote “This pathetic effort of fiction, the best I can do” that to me put me off a little. The Introduction was well, it makes out this book will be psychotically scary and the amount of times the word ‘friend’ was used I felt like I was being pulled into a Nigerian money stealing scam (apologies if that’s offensive to anyone). So far I hadn’t even gotten to the first word of the first chapter and I’m already irritated. It starts off pulling the reader straight into a situation that sparks the curiosity but after a while its evident that giving us (the reader) any sort of life line in regards to what is going on would be too much to ask. We soon realise that the main character is a heartless pr*ck. Not my idea of a main character…. The book is very short and I felt compelled to finish it so onwards I ploughed. There’s a scene where he remembers what he assumes is his daughter talking to the wife/mother saying she wants to marry daddy. That to me really grossed me out. I’m not a parent as of yet but I’m not sure children say they want to marry their father? If so I might explain the differences of love and marriage to children when that time comes to pass. 

So the man says stupid rude things and somehow the animals in the book understand english and are even able to have parts in the book where you know their thoughts (there isn’t anything alerting the reader to the change in point of view either). The wolves he insult somehow follow him and attack him. His loyal dog sacrifices itself for him and dies (yet another thing that irritated me). Although the man seems to question why he asks so callous and cold-hearted in the end any hope that he’s learnt anything at all from his journey is lost. 

The ending –

He remembers that he’s a killer and killed the wife’s lover and his own child (albeit accidentally) and now he’s back to kill the wife. So after we learn that he kills the wife, he dies from the fire. After 150+ pages I now felt like I had learnt nothing from this story and just felt sour at the outcome. As a final nail in the metaphorical coffin, The last chapter which is probably under 100 words seems to hint at the reader that the little girl actually lived and is hiding in a bomb shelter…. I think the scene where she died tied up any loose ends and any possibilities that the girl could’ve lived so it didn’t make sense and seemed stupid. Of course there was a conclusion that basically says that sums up the book saying it was a ‘dark’ book but not about invented things instead about the darkness of the human soul (which wouldn’t have been so bad) EXCEPT that then it won’t on to say that we are all evil and lost. 

By the time I finished the last word in this book I wanted to throw it at someone or something. I’ve read MANY many books but this one, it just made my blood boil. There was honestly no point to this book like AT ALL!!! It’s been a full day since I finished this book and I’m still really cranky about it. 

Don’t take my opinion of it but it’s best to instead read it and make your own decisions about it.

This review is based solely on my opinion of this book and nothing else. I’m sure the author is nice guy and I’m sure there are other people who will actually enjoy it but unfortunately that’s not me. I’m really sorry for such a negative review but now it’s time for me to move onto the next book 🙂

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Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Uncategorized


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